Depression Survivor #3: I Believe You : An Essay of Judgmental Views on Mental Illness

04/29/2017

The act of ignoring the real issue (depression) is what's troubling. The knowledge of the issue is real yet can not fathom how is it real shows how little education there is for mental health.  

Do you know that the straight short line that you see on Word when you stop writing flickers in seconds? I know that from starring at it flicking for 1,500 times or more. I lost count. There's something so daunting about a blipping straight line that you see when you open a new document on Word. Like it's counting how much time you are wasting not actually doing anything. It's almost like time is looking down at you for having them around and being disappointed. That's the easiest way for me to explain to you, how being depressed feels like.

I have been struggling for a long time. Right till the moment you are reading this, I still am. Yet, I do not feel the comfort of associating myself with depression. This comes from a dark experience. There are times where I get 'You are crazy. That's why you have no one.' and something like 'You are just on your period.' when my cycle is not even near. And also, don't get me started on random people on the internet that wrote things that falls under the same exact shade of 'I am so cool now that I am depressed.'

Holy mother of fashion, social media and psychology. You have been failed.

The lines has never been more blur. Fashion and mental institution shares the same shade of color. Opinions and facts overlaps. I am not here to say that nobody can say that they are depressed. I am here to say, not everybody really know what it actually is.

I am here to say, not everybody really know what is actually is.

Living in Asia is a whole different obstacle. The line is not even there. There's no difference in being depressed to being exclusively mental. There's no difference between feeling depressed to just being an ass. Yet, standard of all things increasing rapidly to a level we never seen before. Have houses, have cars, have jobs, have spouses. What about having a life, like LIFE LIFE?

There is no difference in being depressed to being exclusively mental.

There are so many issues within this, of course. In western countries, the heavily advertised mental illness has turn rogue into consumerism. Making mental health relatable and print them on t-shirts makes it sounds like unrealistic. That if anybody can be depressed, then what exactly is depression? The other effect of it comes down here to Eastern countries where the heavy consumerism of mental illness makes it look like it's the a menu on a steak house, a western thing, a fruit of a different culture.

There's a stigma around mental illness. People suffering from mental disorders can be consider as invisibly disabled. Various studies shows how mental illness related to parts of one's brain lack of abilities to comprehend and accept things. It can be form from birth, like genetically or also develop from traumatic events in one's life. Again, none of those are a choice. An illness is an illness. There aren't race or gender to it. Just because you are Asian does not mean you can be depressed. And yes, boys and girls have the same possibilities of being depressed.

There aren't specific race or gender to be depressed.

The act of ignoring the real issue is what's troubling. The knowledge of the issue is real yet can not fathom how is it real shows how little education there is for mental health.

This only resulted to an even more nurturing environment for the illness to grow on one's head like weeds. Most people who are depressed are dangerous, for most of them can be compulsive and think in their own head. A safe and accepting environment to think with others who are not judgmental can be life saving.

Acknowledging that we never actually know how it feels to be depressed and has no rights to say so out of the blue is a good place to start. If someone dear to you tells you how it's been hard for them to wake up in the morning, ask question instead of giving statements. If you believe that someone around you is depressed, do lend them an ear or a shoulder to lean on. Do research on what might your loved ones experiencing and try to accomodate to their needs. The bottom line is, trust them. Trust. Trust. Trust. Nothing makes you feel as worthy as being trusted.

Do lend them an ear or a shoulder to lean on... Trust. Trust. Trust.

And if you are depressed, please take note that it is okay to stay in bed, being so does not always that you are weak, it just means that you listen to your body and taking care of it. Always know that your feelings are real and what you are, does not define what you will be. And write this in the walls around you, you are never alone in this box.

Hang in there.

Ditulis oleh: Aninditya I. Kusumah (aspiring artist, tree enthusiast and occasional writer)


Contributed by: Aninditya I. Kusumah

Aspiring artist, tree enthusiast and occasional writer.

Hope this will help someone out there :)